God's Ultimate Reality Show

A few months before Joe died, I felt an increasing sense of urgency to figure out my purpose here on earth. Who am I? Why am I here? I read the Bible and books on spiritual gifts and purpose, prayed, contemplated, talked to other people. You name it, I did it -- I HAD to know all there was to know about this mysterious and elusive thing called purpose.

In hindsight, I realize that through the act of studying, God was equipping me with tools that would sustain me while Joe was dying. He also was preparing me for life without Joe. I think on some level, I knew this, so that’s why I kept reading, kept reading. It’s funny, I have a nightstand full of books right now, and I can’t bring myself to read a single one.

As far as purpose goes, I learned some life-changing truths. I believe God created all of us to know Him, and I believe that He is the Author of our purpose. The more we know Him, the more clarity we have on what His purpose is for us. We are the characters in His ultimate reality show. Gives a whole new meaning to Big Brother!

"I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." -- Romans 9:17

The goal of the game of Life is to fulfill the purpose He has for us. We can go our own way, do our own thing, and sometimes, we find ourselves in a big, fat mess. But Jesus provides a Get Out of Jail Free card. He’s our ultimate mulligan. The coolest thing about this ultimate reality show is that all of us can be Survivors and crowned the Grand Champion. We won’t win a million dollars; instead, we win an all-expenses paid trip to Heaven, a one-way ticket Home.

“God invites [us] to participate in the greatest, largest, most diverse and most significant cause in history – His kingdom. History is His story. He’s building His family for eternity. Nothing matters more, and nothing will last as long.” -- Rick Warren, “A Purpose Driven Life,” page 296

God brought Joe and I together so we could help each other fulfill the respective purpose He had in mind for us. Our marriage enabled us both to re-discover parts of ourselves that had been asleep and encouraged new growth. I will be forever grateful for us.

Near the end of Joe’s life, God provided us with a day where time stood still (at least for a few hours). On November 9, it’s usually freezing and snowy, but God, in His mercy, gave us a sunny, warm day with a bluebird sky. We drove to one of our favorite places in the Flat Tops Wilderness, Bear Lake Campground. We knew this was the last time we’d be here together. With few words, we basked in the mountainous glory of where we were and where we’d been as the sunlight shimmered on the water like angels. “Joe, when you get to Heaven, will you ask God to let me know you’re OK?” I know now that I don’t really need a sign. My heart knows he’s better than OK.

Joe knew he had finished God’s work for him. He did want more time with me, and knowing that he wouldn’t get it devastated us both. But even facing his own death, Joe smiled through the pain. He even managed to eat part of his Pecan Sandie cookie, because he knew it would make me happy. I guess we both smiled. I forgot that I had smiled too.

Joe redeemed his ticket Home 41 hours later.

The lessons Joe taught me in his life and his death are integral pieces towards the purpose God has for me. I wish the story-line were different, but I’m not the Author of my own story. My prayer is that I honor both God and Joe with how I use this suffering in an effort to bring forth some good in the world.

One of the greatest truths I have discovered is that there is purpose in pain. And this gives me hope. It’s this hope that gives pain power. Hope overshadows death’s sorrow. It’s not game over, it’s a game changer. Sun in the middle of rain, right?

“[He has sent me] to provide for all those who grieve in Zion, to give them crowns instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of [tears of] grief, and clothes of praise instead of a spirit of weakness. They will be called Oaks of Righteousness, the Plantings of the LORD, so that he might display his glory.” -- Isaiah 61:3 (GOD’S WORD translation)

Photo: November 9, 2016 – Bear Lake Campground, Flat Tops Wilderness

“The best use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts it.” -- William James